Laughing at my ignorance

I was outside smoking a cigarette.

The reality, I wish it was a joint

Though, it wasn't!

Smoking, smoking is so taboo these days

Almost next to the devil for doing it

Probably why I enjoy it

Big for the A in life

Freedom of fuck it, with a price tag

In reality, I don't care

It's going to kill you some enjoy saying

Death, death is something 

That happens every day

Who wants to live forever?

Life is beautiful!

Perhaps to some and I appreciate their view

Don't hold that and I'm cool

Maybe we could switch eyes

Let me view your life and you mine

Perhaps I can grasp what it feels like to be

To do the things I lacked

Let me experience anothers success

The other can feel what its like to hold a child's dead hand

To watch the sand castle fall back to the sea

Knowing first hand what being less is like

Gain the belief that its all make believe

Cause shit just never lasts.

Wounds, deep seated wounds

Wounds which just mend over but never fully heal

No one will escape this game

So I smoke my cigarette in peace

Stating the same

Smoking

I live alone

Simply my choice

Selfish I do suppose

Smoking

Never going to get a date

Never stated I wanted to date

All part of the repeats

Hey, its a Jazz band, alright!

I'm a hideous fucker, laugh!

Steve Jobs had more money than god

Yet he couldn't purchase a cure all!

He was an easy example

As I smoke and contemplate

A lot of rich folks die

A lot more broke folks die

A lot of people die in the cycle of life

A lot of people keep moving forward

A lot of people are stuck in reverse

A lot of people just want to be left alone

A lot of people need attention to feel whole

A lot of beautiful people feel they're right

A lot of people just want to be heard

A lot of people need to be loved

A lot of people just go extra on being assholes



Smoking

Its the stink of tobacco I can't stand

Smoke flows in, then flows out

Euphoric, why I ever picked this up again?
Once upon a starlight, I quit for ten years

Ha Ha, cause its the sadistic part of life

My thought as I inhale

Upon a bush was one lonely flower

All of its family died long ago

Their wilted petals line the ground

This little one 

Decided to hang around a bit longer

Really is a pretty pink

Perhaps, maybe by chance, it was one of those

Late bloomers

The honey bee was grateful

It gave the dying breed something to eat

Soon, the beauty of the bush will depart

It only last but a month



Enjoying my cigarette

Watching the human ants hustle about

Everyone has some place to go

Its always such a hurried event

Go, Go, Go, Go

Same place down the road

An extra ten minutes took off their shoes

Listen to more bullshit news

Most don't know

I rarely share

My mind is like a flipped snare

What takes the norm fifteen minutes to write

Takes me three hours to make right

The words are there

Just what is put to digital paper is wrong

Eyes just don't process the mind

I was screwed

Something inside wasn't wired to spec

Recently

Someone thought it was fun

Pointing out my mistakes

It happened beautifully twice

Did they get a stiff one from it?

Making themselves feel proud?

Fuck'em, losers are all around

Knowing what I have to fight

Knowing what its like

I dare not make fun or point out others flaws

During childhood

I was called stupid

Labeled the dumb one

Was fun to watch others play sports

Because of my grades

I was given a spot on the bench

Made to feel like I never belonged

This fuckin guy 

Isn't ever going to be college bound!

Hated the school experience

Because I learned different

I was titled the Bad Child

No too long ago

I read a post from some teachers

Who chuckled amongst themselves

Bad child surrounded by bad bums

They laughed and I laughed harder

Let me take another drag

Tossed in the dullard class

Which lead me to not care

Next to religious fucks

I absolutely despise teachers

Don't really care if its found offensive

Picture an abused dog

That views the dark haired abuser 

Upon every hand

To me, both are losers

Love the passion I have to dislike them.

Smoking

Little bee was feeding

Lost as usual to my need for nicotine

Enjoying at this moment the world around

Will it kill me, possibly, that's the risk

Could get killed walking across the street

Smoking this cigarette which is totally taboo

Laugh is what I do

Laugh when I feel blue

Laugh when I write this shit

Laugh when tears flow off my eye lids

Laugh when nothing goes right

Laugh when there is no delight

Laugh when all hope seems lost

Laugh when I'm alone in the dark

Laugh when the pain of the past takes another stab

Laugh when my pockets are empty and I have no gas

Laugh when its sugar bread

Laugh when I feel the darkest of clouds

Laugh when no ones around

Laugh with my cat

Laugh when the actions of others make me mad

Laugh to be free

Smoking this cigarette laugh at the need

Too bad its not a joint

Really just love to think

Where is the voice that comes around

That thing that created it all

Speaks wonderful things which I don't believe

I give the thing a chance

Allowed it room to romance

While we laugh.

Voice tells me to quit the smoking

I tell the voice to get bent

We laugh some more

Together 

We are crazy in one sharing the body.

Let me take another drag.

Cause in the end it won't matter anyways.



Peace out





Gocni Schindler