LOWLY SECURITY GUARD

Oh, you
Lowly security guard
Protector of the company
With your Smith & Wesson
Pocket baton and bottle of Mace
On the same pay scale as the janitor
No more, no less
Expected, demanded, required
Place your life on the line
For fourteen dollars square
Receptionists makes more
All they do is say hello


Oh, you
Lowly security guard
It's training time
The armed PETA protestor
Going to break inside
Shots fired
Risking it all for lousy pay
Zero benefits
The CEO went nuts today
Started throwing haymakers
That's one to the face
How's that busted nose?
They gave you a new shirt
White and a fifty cent raise
Just enough to keep you motivated

Oh, you
Lowly security guard
Bound to run towards the danger zone
Sanctioned to protect the company
Awarded in life
Can barely make rent
Sleeping with the roaches
Consuming Bologna sandwiches
Night and day
Day and night
Seven days in
Seven days out
Mundane on Wonder Bread

Oh, you
Lowly security guard
Don't you dare miss a day
Shit amazes me
The ones
Having the most responsibilities
Are the ones
Making the least
The reasoning
Anyone can do the job
You're absolutely right
Shots fired
Fourteen and change an hour
Dropping the phone and running
Wretches are on their own
Anyone with common sense
Isn't going to risk their life for that.
It's up to you though
Heroism has its perks

Oh, you
Lowly security guard
Two to the chest
One to the head
The only fool in the world
That brings Mace and a Baton
To the gun showdown
But don't worry
They'll put your face on a card
Hang you up in the hallway
Between the men and woman's John
Your image can collect some dust

Oh, you
Lowly security guard
Went from living with the roaches
To sleeping with the worms
Maybe the food is better
Than the same shit
Day in
Day out
St. Peter is shaking his head
You dumb bastard
You should have run!
He presents a sandwich
Bologna on white, no cheese
Shits dry
Slides over a uniform
One bottle of Mace
One golden Baton
Zero pay
Protect the gate!

Oh, you
Lowly security guard!